I believe, help my unbelief.
It is a simple phrase but it captures the struggle we face every day. Like Pastor Traxel’s story, it is oh so easy to get caught up in the moments of our lives and forget what we believe.
We believe in a God who has proven over and over throughout history that he is good and that he has a plan for each and every one of our lives.
Yet when we talk about trusting God it is so easy to turn it into a black and white picture. You either trust in him or you don’t. And that’s great when life is good. But like the father who watched his son tormented by an evil spirit, when our hearts ache because of the things we have seen or are experiencing trust begins to get more complicated.
We live in a world where life puts us in situations we never expect. In a very real way we live in a world that is taking its dying breaths. Hurricanes, tornados, disease, violence. If you look close enough there is no shortage of darkness in this broken world. And even when we do our best to stay far far away from all the mess. The mess of sin, death and the devil creeps into our lives like the toxic poison they are.
In moments like that. Moments when we are exhausted, lonely, afraid. When everything seems dark and the world turned against us. We can utter that prayer to Jesus. I believe, help my unbelief.
And when the weeks drag on and our strength is failing. That prayer may be weak, it might take everything we can muster just to turn to Jesus at all. But when we do, we do not speak into the void or shout at deaf ears. No, when we turn to Jesus and trust him, no matter how shaky that trust may be, He hears us. He loves us. And he promises to give us everything we need to make it through one more day.
But trusting Jesus is not just about making it through the ups and downs of our lives. Trusting Jesus also calls us to action. Earlier in the Gospel of Mark Jesus extended the same invitation to each of his Disciples. Come and follow me. And in following they learned what it was to trust Jesus.
As Jesus’ disciples today we too are called to follow Him. And just like trusting Jesus with the events of our lives, following Jesus in the things we do is a messy affair.
One of the most formative ministry experiences of my Seminary career happened while serving with a ministry called the table. It was a ministry that had a simple idea behind it. Offer a place to have a meal and worship with the homeless community.
On paper this sounds pretty straightforward, have some food, have a service. Nothing out of the ordinary. But as I got to know that community the messy reality of following Jesus is something I will never forget.
For example, What do you do when someone shows up drunk, or high, or off of their meds. Or what about when you go home after smelling like the pungent odor of street?
The truth is there is no single answer to that question. Trusting Jesus especially as we come together as his church is hard. We don’t always like or approve of what our brothers and sisters in Christ choose to do. Church family like all families have disagreements and difficulties. But no matter how messy our life together as the church might get. There is one thing above all else that we are called to do.
And that is to trust Jesus. Trust him through the mess, the frustration. It is so easy to retreat and think that we can just do this on our own. But being a Christian has never been and never will be an individual calling.
A major part of Trusting Jesus is trusting that he is at work here among his people. That’s hard. No one here is perfect, we all make mistakes and we will one way or another let each other down. But even when we might not see Jesus at work on the surface. We are called to trust that Jesus is here among his people just like he has promised.